O P E N P O S T .

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@ pendejadas

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[ continued from here. ]

There's magic in music, one of my teachers once told me. You have to be a bit of a witch to play. Maybe we can chant a married men-repellent spell of some kind.

What genre would that be?

[pendejadas]

I'd think a chant like that would be in French, possibly Portuguese. I’d imagine dexterous fingers would spell the enchantment and amp what lives in the heart.

So, it would be psychedelic soul. Or melancholic jazz.

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If you ever write such a song, send it to me. I have an ex who'd love it.

[pendejadas]

If we’re talking exes then I already have a title, based on my colorful history.

— ‘fuck it all up again’.

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You should hear me laughing, honestly.

[pendejadas]

I bet it’s a nice laugh. Ever laughed in an auditorium? Could enchant anyone with those acoustics.

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One or two. I'm not the kind of person to think there's a right and a wrong place for showing your emotions, an auditorium's as good a place as any.

But with better acoustics, true.

[pendejadas]

I can get behind that sort of freedom. I never plan a trip to my favorite bar in London, it just happens when the mood hits.

No point in containing an impulse.

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I just like being ultimately very truthful, towards myself, towards others.

How am I doing?

[pendejadas]

I can respect that. Carrying truths and unfolding them openly. Some take courage to tell, others are far easier to embody.

You’re doing better than most.

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Thank you for not making it sound like a compliment. I'm awful with those.

[pendejadas]

Being in tune to people is the first I had to learn. My best compliments are less words, more actions.

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More actions, less words is good.

I can be awful with that as well, but I recognize the value.

[pendejadas]

It depends on where it's coming from. Takes trust to build most of what's truly satisfying.

At least, I've learned to value it does.

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How did you use to feel about it?

[pendejadas]

Misplaced. I realize I don't shine when I'm alone.

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Few people do. And even the ones who have that ability shine more when they're with others.

[pendejadas]

Maybe it was a phase. Or are phases just stages of evolving into something worldly? To be dripping in gold would be nice.

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We're all changing constantly. I'm sure some pre-Socratic philosopher has said the same thing in wiser words.

You'd look beautiful. Dripping in gold.

[pendejadas]

I don't think you would have liked me when I was attending grad school. Something about being changed for the better.

Now look who's handing out compliments. Resplendent, coming from you.

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I didn't like myself in grad school. We've both improved.

And I'll admit, I'm better at giving compliments than receiving them. I like the look on people's faces when I do. What's your expression like right now?

[pendejadas]

That's the thing. It was then that I loved what I became, what led to me now. How were you then?

Maybe one day you'll accept mine. It's more relaxed than it has been in months. I laughed.

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Lost. Running, but lost.

Now I'm laughing, too.

[pendejadas]

Hm. Like a ‘lost and found’.

Then I’ll keep you laughing by telling you one of my monikers was Champagne King.

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It beats 'Bach Boy'.