O P E N P O S T .

[solosection]

texts / tfln overflow / starters / picture prompts / quote/lyric prompts / anything else

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[pendejadas]

Maybe it was a phase. Or are phases just stages of evolving into something worldly? To be dripping in gold would be nice.

[solosection]

We're all changing constantly. I'm sure some pre-Socratic philosopher has said the same thing in wiser words.

You'd look beautiful. Dripping in gold.

[pendejadas]

I don't think you would have liked me when I was attending grad school. Something about being changed for the better.

Now look who's handing out compliments. Resplendent, coming from you.

[solosection]

I didn't like myself in grad school. We've both improved.

And I'll admit, I'm better at giving compliments than receiving them. I like the look on people's faces when I do. What's your expression like right now?

[pendejadas]

That's the thing. It was then that I loved what I became, what led to me now. How were you then?

Maybe one day you'll accept mine. It's more relaxed than it has been in months. I laughed.

[solosection]

Lost. Running, but lost.

Now I'm laughing, too.

[pendejadas]

Hm. Like a ‘lost and found’.

Then I’ll keep you laughing by telling you one of my monikers was Champagne King.

[solosection]

It beats 'Bach Boy'.

[pendejadas]

I'll take that and trade you "King Shit".

[solosection]

Ouch.

Some of my friends called me Pierrot. If you can guess why, you get a kiss.

[pendejadas]

There’s irony to it. Maybe I’ll tell you one day, but then you’ll have to trade me.

Do I only get one try? A once in a lifetime offer.

[solosection]

Trade you for what?

One try. There's a consolation prize, too, if you get it wrong.

[pendejadas]

You allow me to make you a cocktail and then tell me what feeling it inspires. I have a certain way of mixing.

Well... Is it because you were a relativistic person laughing at your own pain?

[solosection]

Doesn't sound like a hardship, but I guess we'll see. Deal!

I'm a sad clown, yes. That's exactly the reason.

[pendejadas]

I just want to hear someone else’s nice. It’s the perfume filled thorns.

What makes you a sad clown? Unless you’re just misunderstood.

[solosection]

I think the fact that I'm very rarely truly understood makes me a sad clown.

[pendejadas]

Are you asking for someone to witness your bared soul? Or just to know? Bit of a difference there.

[solosection]

Either would be okay, but the latter would be better than okay, do you know what I mean?

[pendejadas]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I know.

[solosection]

Do you have someone who just knows?

[pendejadas]

I do and I did.

I think we can form those ‘knows’ in many ways, not just one. I’m still figuring out what it is to lose one. Do you?

[solosection]

Yes.

My ex and I have that kind of relationship. He can always tell with me. I can always tell with him.

[pendejadas]

That’s nice, no?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found I function best where it blurs. The last man I was with was far too old, but I saw myself in him. We both lost and gained.

Scorpion grasses and Eau Sauvage.

[solosection]

I'm the same. My two closest relations aren't strictly lovers, but they're not strictly friends either. One will die long before me, I guess, and leave me to close his eyes and the other I haven't spoken with in 15 years. Maybe he'll die without me ever getting a chance of talking to him again.

It blurs.

[ He'd shrug if they weren't on text. Maybe he's shrugging a bit anyway and maybe it's showing in his words. ]

[pendejadas]

It might be where we differ. I say I bond fast, but really it’s what comes from it that brings me to the blurriness. The most me is rooted in my best friends. It took me years to figure out potential for the one person I will love even beyond the Underworld.

15 years is a long time, but so is 50. I might be foolish, since I wouldn’t hesitate if I was near someone that could just know, even after a long time has passed. Not anymore.

{ Meanwhile, his words always have an edge of embellished blasé. It is what it is, until he has to confront truths he tucked neatly into a ribboned box. Not today. }