P S L .

[solosection]

Comments

[factuallysatan]

Darling, I've realised - you can't actually live where you live. It's inexcusable. It's basically vile.

[solosection]

It's small, Lucifer. Not disgusting.

[factuallysatan]

You're small, not disgusting. Your flat, on the other hand, is nothing like you. But don't worry, I have the perfect solution!

[ attached: 1890764.png ]

[solosection]

Wow. That's incredible.

If you buy it for me, I'll happily move there.

[factuallysatan]

Good, good! Would you like to keep interior and furnishings as they are? Your taste is a bit hard to decipher, you see, as it stands. Unless you like small, cramped and potentially lice-ridden.

[solosection]

Wait. Lucifer, wait.

Are we seriously discussing getting me a luxurious penthouse with a view of the LA cityscape and room for a bigger piano? A penthouse you will obviously be financing, because my living earns me small and cramped, if not lice-ridden.

[factuallysatan]

What? No, no, no.

It's already mine. I'm just letting you hang. ♥

[solosection]

People don't usually show me this degree of care. Usually, I don't want them to, either.

Thank you.

[factuallysatan]

There's a lot of that going around, isn't there?

You're welcome.

[solosection]

Mm. If I tell you this has me feeling a bit like Cinderella, what does that make you?

[factuallysatan]

Not the fairy godmother, surely. Her dress-up would do precisely nothing for my hips.

[solosection]

Let's say you're free to reinterpret the costume, you're definitely the fairy godmother.

[factuallysatan]

... can I have breasts? I've always wanted to try that.

[solosection]

Me too.

[ He's laughing right now. So hard. ]

When am I moving in, by the way?

[factuallysatan]

Hm. How's tomorrow for you?

[solosection]

Oh. Okay. I suppose tomorrow... works.

You really don't waste time, do you?

[factuallysatan]

I simply don't want the sheer mediocrity of your current living space to swallow you up. It concerns me.

[solosection]

I created that living space. You aren't concerned that the sheer mediocrity originates with me and not the other way around?

[factuallysatan]

Absolutely not.

[solosection]

And that's why you're amazing.

[factuallysatan]

Don't expect much from others, do you, darling?

Be careful with that.

[solosection]

It's the lesser of two evils.

Either you expect too little and that's what you'll get or you expect too much and they'll let you down.

[factuallysatan]

My therapist would be unimpressed with your logic here. Not sure how or why, exactly, but then again, that's why I pay her to know these things.

Have you considered therapy? Humans find it quite useful, too, or so I'm told.

[solosection]

My mother's a therapist. We used to joke I'd never need another session in my life, growing up with her.

My best guess is that I'll need more than just one more session, really.

[factuallysatan]

Yes, that sounds a bit terrifying. I'm relieved my mother has very little insight with regards to these matters or I'm sure we'd all be monumentally screwed.

Well. More screwed, I should say.