[ And he breaks the waves, does Jean Louis. After his second dive, he stands up, water trickling down his front, making the dark patches of ink in his skin shine, looking more like silk than ever. He’s divine. Elio doesn’t care about Botticelli or any of the other Aphrodite depictions, this is art. On this beach, cold as fuck and devoid of life, except Elio’s own hard breathing in the night, Jean Louis is more Venus than Venus herself. Maybe that says a lot about him, about the both of them, really.
When Jean Louis begins moving back towards the beach, his thighs rising out of the water, the rest of his legs, his crotch squarely in the middle, Elio just lets his eyes sweep down over his body, following the little droplet-sized rivers, start to finish. Greedily. Oh. He doesn’t try to hide it either and as the other man gets closer, he looks up to meet his eyes, the sweeping movement of one hand that is pushing his hair back, Elio’s pupils blown wide in response.
His voice sounds a little bit hoarse. It could be the cold. It could also not be the cold. ]
You’re outshining some very grudging deities.
[ Once Jean Louis is a couple of meters away, still to his ankles in water, Elio is done waiting. With a harsh exhalation, he kicks his shoes off, out to the side, toes out of his socks and uncaringly wades out into the water as well, only halfway realizing his trouser legs are going to get wet. But! Almost there, almost there, and he links both arms around Jean Louis’ neck, catching him front to front, getting even more wet. Oh. The strong, firm frame of him. Dripping. Moonlight. Beethoven wouldn’t know what to do with all this. Maybe it’s the cold... Fuck, it’s cold.
Still, Elio manages to add, playfully and only shivering a little bit: ]
[ There's something about the way Elio looks at him that makes him feel downright odd - it's not arousal, definitely, but something warmer and gentler, as if the other man's projecting his very core onto him just like that, just by looking. It feels a bit like it did back in the car on the highway, when Elio told him he... well. When he said that. It feels like something he ought to look away from, really, like staring at it directly might eventually blind him somehow. Getting out of the water is definitely enough to make him freeze, too, the water clinging to his skin feeling like liquid ice.
Before he can get around to drying off (using what, exactly??), Elio tells him he's outshining deities which is an impossible thing to say to someone like him, fuck, what is he doing - and then, he's kicking off his shoes and his socks and wading into the water, his trousers clinging to his ankles immediately as the water soaks through the fabric. Jean Louis reaches out to catch him almost by instinct - and when Elio throws his arms around his neck, plastering himself to his front, he can feel him shivering.
He's warm, too.
Beware he says and Jean Louis stares at him, blinking the sea water from his lashes before he runs both hands down his back, grabbing hold beneath his buttocks and hoisting him out of the water. He's not weightless, Elio, and his muscles are definitely working for it, particularly as he wades the last few meters ashore - he lets Elio cling as he sees fit, expecting him to hold on. ]
You're an idiot, Elio.
[ He says it without even the slightest trace of rancor in his voice, his chin resting on the other man's shoulder, their bodies pressed together as he steps onto the sand, feet sinking down, holding Elio tight.
In many ways, though, Elio is an idiot. Look at him, now, look at them both.
Foolish people, really, beneath the moonlight.
He adds, muttering against the shell of Elio's ear: ]
[ Once Jean Louis grabs him all but by the buttocks, lifting him out of the water, Elio has no real choice left except to lock his ankles around his waist, hoisting himself up and up and up.
Well, Jean Louis would probably say he has plenty of other choices, but none that would bring him closer and that's currently the important thing.
He's so close like this, he can feel the other man's muscles straining as he lifts him up onto the beach. The hard thud, thud, thud of his feet sinking into sand, possibly getting cut on rocks, it's a rocky patch of shore. Elio wants to rub them in balm when they get back, bathe his feet and use Mafalda's old witch brews on him. See what they turn him into. If he melts a little. Another thing Elio can feel is the water drying quickly between them, stiff from salt and freezing cold. He's actually trembling now. You're an idiot, Jean Louis tells him, saying his name like a caress and Elio moves his head in something that could be both a nod and a headshake.
Yes, it means, I know.
But you're also wrong, it means. I'm a professor's son, I know everything, haven't you realized?
And once they land on the beach, Elio releases his hold on the other man and lets himself glide softly into the cool sand with his feet, the beach pale white under the moon. Jean Louis' words are still echoing in his ear, his breath feeling like a ghost against the shell of it, like he's haunting him, even just lovingly, but unlike Elio's grandfather, Jean Louis is right here. It can't be ghosting, when the one doing it isn't gone, right?
Elio's fingers flex against his sides, his shoulders shaking from cold. Yet, when he looks at the other man, he's smiling widely and unrestrained. ]
There are other ways.
[ Truthfully, aside from dropping to his knees this very moment, taking his cock in his mouth, Elio doesn't know them, but he's willing to explore. With Jean Louis, he's willing. ]
[ He should probably get dried off and dressed, as far as that'll take him currently - but as he puts Elio down in front of him, the other man looks up at him, his eyes shining and his long limbs trembling from cold, and there's something so incredibly resilient about him at this very moment that he can't quite catch his breath. Jean Louis looks at him, his hair sticking to his brow and his skin feeling icy cold, almost beyond freezing. To him, it's always felt very natural. Being cold. As if when he freezes, it goes through everything and there's a sense of coherency for once, like he fits together better, inside and out.
There are other ways says Elio and fuck, his circulation has definitely woken up. He raises one eyebrow and shifts in the sand, legs spread a little for better balance. Reaching out, he runs one, wet hand through Elio's hair, the strands stiffened here and there by salt. He palms the back of his head, fingers clenching very slightly in the other man's curls. He feels almost burning hot, Elio, though he's clearly too cold.
Contrasts.
When he speaks, there's a fondness to his voice that he doesn't quite recognise. ]
If you want something, you should always take it.
[ Even if you're frozen to the bone, even if it's late at night and you're on a public beach in the middle of winter. It's never a matter of circumstances, taking advantage of whatever's offered to you but sometimes, surely, it's a matter of life and death. Tonight, they'll both live - and the nights that follow, he'll make fucking sure - but there might still be chances worth grabbing or steps worth taking and if you don't, if they choose to be safer than that, the window will pass. It's how these things work. You wait and you lose.
He wants everything for them, he thinks. For Elio, too.
The thought makes him feel hollowed out, as if maybe there's room for something now - maybe, maybe, maybe. ]
[ It's nitpicking, noticing how Jean Louis uses should instead of could, not handing him an option, but giving him an order, almost. It seems the perfect phrasing to encompass everything the other man is as a politician, if you want something, you should always take it, a man who believes in free choice, but who also wants to steer others in very particular directions, for his own sake. For everybody's sake. For Elio's sake, too.
Elio closes his eyes for a brief moment to really feel the strength of Jean Louis' hand in his hair, cupping the back of his head, burying into his curls, stiff from salt in places, like the rest of him is stiff from cold, but not enough that he doesn't relatively seamlessly drop to his knees in front of the other man, moving on his knees up to his front, balancing himself with his hands on Jean Louis' thighs, one on each of them. He's icy cold, his skin almost glasslike to the touch because of it, veins looking blue and pounding underneath. Elio rubs his legs, then, once, twice. Stares directly into Jean Louis' crotch area like this, his cock flaccid still and vulnerable-looking like that. Cold, too.
Wetting his lips with his tongue, getting them good and moist and ready for the slide, he finally glances up at Jean Louis in the dark. Bordighera might be a ghost city currently, but even in ghost cities there are ghosts, right? They could get seen. What would his press attaché say about that? The Luxembourgian Foreign Minister getting sucked off in full public view after a night swim.
Elio would say, I was just preventing frostbites. ]
Even when it's you?
[ With that, he leans in, folding the fingers of his right hand around the base of Jean Louis cock and angling his whole length outward, opening his mouth wide at the same time, teeth tucked away safely, letting it slide whole and un-hard into his mouth. For warmth, yes? For warmth. Keeping it there, halfway inside, he uses his tongue to follow the fold of his foreskin, that small patch of anything that sets them apart, with his tongue, feeling the way it starts baring the head in stages as Jean Louis' body reacts to him.
[ It doesn't surprise him when Elio actually drops to his knees - it's that kind of mood right now, the one when you give chase, even if the hunt looks incomprehensible. He keeps his hand buried in Elio's hair, feeling the strands as they slip through his icy fingers, his bad little finger so stiff that it actually can't move beyond a slight twitch. The rest are doing better though and that's what you have to focus on, isn't it. It's what you have. It's what you get.
He shudders visibly when Elio folds his fingers around his flaccid cock, lips slightly parted as he watches the other man open his mouth and taking him in. His mouth is shockingly hot, almost scorching and he groans, shifting a little in place, his hand tightening in Elio's hair. His body, the blood flow already explosive, reacts quickly - the combination of physical sensations mixed with the clear visual of Elio on his knees in the sand in front of him, his lips stretched around his shaft... ]
Mmm. Yes, especially then.
[ It's not that he doesn't want to be had, really. It's that being had comes with many variations. Sometimes, people want fifteen quick minutes and a brief high. Sometimes, they want power, money, trade. Sometimes, they want a pound of your flesh.
What Elio wants from him is new. He feels it with almost overwhelming clarity as Elio tongues his cock to hardness, gently, exploring the sensitive folds of foreskin with a care that you really wouldn't expect, not when time usually passes so quickly and all anyone wants is to move forward. The other man is freezing but he's not in any hurry and he doesn't know what to do with that, except take it and treasure it and keep it hidden within himself.
So, he runs his hand down the back of Elio's neck, between his shoulderblades, and spreads out his fingers, trying to give him back a fraction of warmth, if just by way of friction. His cock, meanwhile, hardens on the other man's tongue, heat spreading rapidly in his groin and abdomen. He watches Elio intently, eyes narrowed to slits. ]
[ It happens like some miracle, the way Jean Louis' cock hardens, gradually but quite quickly, really, on his tongue, the fold of foreskin slipping back, baring the head completely, until Elio has a full curve of throbbing hot, slightly slick flesh on his tongue, reminding him belatedly that they aren't using a condom and this is the first time, isn't it? This is the first time they have unprotected sex, but maybe it's the natural progression, maybe it's kind of self-evident, because as Jean Louis has said himself, he's monogamous and Elio sure hasn't been with anyone else since that night in the other man's apartment, the concert, everything that followed.
It feels a long time, but for another reason than with Antonio. It feels like a long time because there was no before worth of mention and he doesn't want there to be any after either.
Groaning around the now fully hard length of cock, Elio slides him all the way back into his mouth, until the head is pressing against the narrow entrance to his throat. He keeps it there, lets it weigh on him, lets his gag reflex have a bit of a struggle for a few seconds, while looking up at Jean Louis, his right hand slipping from the base of his cock to his balls, folding his palm around them. They're probably cold, too.
Though, honestly, they feel burning hot. Blood flow, evidently, and a lot of it. Elio draws back slowly, but not slowly enough to avoid a little retching, drowning the sound quickly in slurping noises as he licks all over the glans, tongue slipping into the slit, teasing out some precum. Now that he can taste him. Now that he can have him.
Jean Louis says so and since he's the king, so be it.
Eyes falling shut again, Elio angles his head better and swallows him down again, taking him as far as he can without actively deep-throating him. Begins a hard, fast rhythm of up and down, because Elio might love gently, but he also loves physically and the skin needs pressure to feel it right.
And the people over whom its stretched, the skin, need a certain pressure, too, or they'll forget or even worse, they'll remember, but never more than that. ]
[ Elio takes him in deep and his mouth is so wet, so hot, that his toes keep curling and uncurling in the sand. His skin prickles all over, heat returning gradually to his lower body, though it's pretty firmly centered there - the rest of him feels colder. His breathing stumbles whenever Elio gets a particular sensitive part of the head - the slit, in particular, oh shit - his hips actually jerk very slightly when the other man presses his tongue inside it. Though he isn't actively leaning against Elio, he feels as if he's supporting himself somehow regardless, with his hand, large and flat, between his shoulderblades.
Around them, the beach remains quiet - deserted, like they're alone in the world and that's how they are together, it seems, it's something they've begun to cultivate and he... likes it. A lot. A part of him that he doesn't quite recognise anymore wants to belong there, even, to melt into that sense of two-ness and change, accordingly.
Elio sets a rhythm then, up and down, his cock sliding back and forth between his lips, into his mouth all the way to the back of his throat. The other man is slurping loudly, saliva running down his lips and chin and it's a pretty sight, the way he uses himself, the way he lets Jean Louis use him in turn. With a low moan, a rumble more than anything else, he slips his other hand beneath Elio's chin, folding his fingers beneath his delicate bone-structure and tips his face upwards slightly, enough to make eye-contact, enough to support him and keep him locked in that position, simultaneously. Manages, breathlessly: ]
You're beautiful.
[ Then, setting his feet firmly in the sand, he keeps Elio's head in place and takes over on the pace, sliding into his mouth and out. He doesn't override the rhythm Elio had established - he simply follows it, seamlessly, fucking his mouth hard and letting Elio do as he pleases with his tongue, with his hand around his balls. It's all fine.
[ Once more Jean Louis embraces him from all sides, his hand feeling weirdly hot between Elio's shoulder blades, although he knows logically it should be cold, freezing, the other coming up to tip his chin upwards, opening up his mouth and keeping their eyes locked on each other.
You're beautiful.
Elio blinks rapidly, staring back, loving the sight of him, loving this. How he's angling him for his own pleasure, the way he wants him the most, needs him and Elio can provide that for him, can be the warmth he sinks into, again and again while Jean Louis starts fucking his mouth, taking up space inside of him, filling him up. It's unbearably arousing, his jeans feel uncomfortably tight around his hard cock and Elio gives up on Jean Louis' balls reluctantly, only because he needs two hands to open up his fly. Well, efficiently, at least. Fumbling, desperately fast, he undoes the button, zips down, pushes his underwear out of the way.
He's so hard that the cool midnight air sends shock waves through his system, but beyond that it doesn't register, his body certainly doesn't care. Elio leans his head back a bit, tilting his throat into a more direct line with his mouth, thereby inviting Jean Louis to take them all the way, drive it home. With his left hand he reaches up and smears the spittle coating his chin all over his palm before reaching down between his thighs, beginning to stroke himself hard, fast, matching Jean Louis' rhythm. Focused. Always so focused. Precise with what he gives, says. He said: you're beautiful.
Elio groans, brushing his wet palm over his cock head, thighs trembling and ankles freezing and nothing matters but this. He wants to feel him come. He wants to feel Jean Louis spend himself inside him. With his other hand, he's all but clinging to Jean Louis' thigh for balance, seeing nothing but his broad, strong frame, he casts shadows over Elio's face, Elio can tell. ]
[ Oh, it's so good - he's being so good, Elio, opening up his mouth and letting him drive himself towards the finish line. Though his balls feel colder without his palm cupping them, he really can't argue with Elio's decision to free his hands when he sees where they're going - down, yes, to his own trousers, because he's going to jerk himself off, despite the cold, despite the discomfort of it. He manages a muttered yes, Elio, do it under his breath, thrusting into his mouth and feeling him take it. The pleasure builds with every stroke inside, every slide out, and his balls are starting to feel incredibly tight. He keeps going, letting Elio support himself against his thigh and watching, enraptured, as he starts stroking himself.
Within long, the sound of the ocean disappears into the background, overridden by the wet slick of Elio's hand around himself and the sound of his mouth working tirelessly around Jean Louis' cock. He's perfect. How is he perfect? More to the point, how is he here, in front of Jean Louis on his fucking knees in the sand, clearly loving what they're doing, clearly loving...
How is he?
Breathing heavily, he finally angles himself a little differently, feeling the built-up like an overwhelming urge to go deeper, to go in, and he does, he sinks into Elio's throat all the way, feeling that pop as his cock pushes past the tight opening. He slips his hand further down, completely on impulse, and rests his fingers very gently against the slope of Elio's throat. He can feel himself in there, behind his skin, stretching him.
And that's how he comes, feeling utterly mindless, his cock pulsing deep inside Elio's throat as he spends himself in a handful of hot spurts. He pulls out immediately after, not fast but efficiently, the still-hard length of his cock slipping out from between Elio's lips wetly, strings of cum sticking to his tongue as it goes. Jean Louis' chest is heaving like he's run twenty fucking miles. The cold - he's completely forgotten about that. He moves his hand from between Elio's shoulderblades to the back of his head, running his fingers through his curls, trying to catch his breath and to catch himself.
[ Jean Louis tells him to do it, yes, Elio and Elio would whimper if he didn't have his mouth full already, working himself harshly, desperately, in time with the other man fucking into his mouth, sinking into his throat on that last in-stroke, the one where it'll all explode, Elio can tell, and spending himself in a couple of hot spurts. Like that, Elio is speared on his cock, feeling it pulse between his lips, on his tongue, feeling Jean Louis touch his throat oh so gently, like he wants to feel the traces he's leaving behind in there. He won't go unnoticed, this time. This time, someone will see, Jean Louis, that's what Elio's thinking, jerking himself off in long, persistent strokes of his palm, fingers, thumb over the head. Oh, oh.
I will see you.
Then, the other man pulls out of his mouth, leaving his throat raw and burning, cum on his tongue, just strings and droplets, but enough to steal a taste and that's the final straw, for Elio, getting to taste him, the salty, stringy texture of what he's left him with. Himself. His essence.
And now, Elio does whimper, he whimpers loud and clear in the quiet of the night, coming all over his own hand, the sand, his cock pulsing harshly, it's a fast orgasm and the whole thing didn't really take long, but it's blissful. It's absolutely perfectly real. His voice sounds raw and used and Elio wants to sound that way always, wants to carry Jean Louis on his vocal chords everywhere, for everyone to hear. Oliver? Oliver, too. He doesn't care.
Once the first rush dampens, Elio falls very quiet and keeps staring at the expanses of skin in front of him, Jean Louis' abdomen and chest, then higher, his face, his eyes. He meets them hesitantly, for some complex psychological reason fearing a show of regret from the other man. We shouldn't have. Not here. Not like this. Why did you make me? Slowly, he releases his cock and dries his hand off in his shirt, rumbled, stiff from salt here and there. Now, cum.
Getting to his feet takes a long time, it feels like. He keeps looking at Jean Louis the whole way. ]
Are you feeling warmer?
[ Was it worth it, it means. Himself, Elio feels boneless and beautiful, but when was that ever enough? ]
[ They come apart like that, Jean Louis' cock falling back against his abdomen, half-hard, on its way to flaccid again and Elio on his knees for a long moment, looking up at him with something in his eyes that doesn't quite make sense to him, something that emphasises the distance between them in a way that he doesn't like. Tilting his head slightly, he watches as Elio gets to his feet, looking slightly stiff, staring at him the whole way and asking him whether he feels warmer. Was there a point to it, is that it? Why would he ask that?
He thinks about Elio in the car a couple of days back, about how he'd been staring out onto the road, deflated in a way, as if expecting to be defeated. He thinks about Oliver, briefly, who seems to take quite a bit for granted in his life. Then, lips twitching with a sudden rush of anger, he steps forward and slips both hands around Elio's waist, pulling him up against his naked front. He's too cold, Elio. Are you feeling warmer, he said, frozen nearly through.
No, he can't give himself away like that, like none of the pieces matter.
He won't have it. ]
I feel...
[ Pause. His gaze glides sideways, then, and he blinks, trying to figure out how to phrase this. It has to do with emotions, with thoughts and ideas and notions that he rarely ever touches upon, except to push them aside. ]
Closer. To you. [ He wets his lips. Runs one hand through Elio's hair slowly, fingering the curls there, loving them. ] You always make me warmer. It's something very peculiar, actually - how you do that. I'm always worried you'll freeze in the process some day.
[ He steps back, releases Elio. Goes to pick up his shirt in the sand, drying off with harsh movements, his left shoulder rigid from the cold. Quite possibly, he's said too much - he feels as if he has. But on the other hand, he doesn't know how to tell him these things, these odd, fragile things, without baring aspects of himself that he can't stand the sight of anymore than others can; to show him that everything Elio gives him, he takes and he wants and he saves.
[ The first response he gets is a wholly physical one. With a twist to his features, Jean Louis steps forward and pulls Elio up against him, both hands on his waist, telling him then in words what his body has already said, clearly. I feel closer to you, he says and Elio experiences a rush of happiness unlike anything he's felt before. Like a literal wave of unrestrained joy that pumps through his system with his blood. They feel the same, they feel the same, they feel the same - this overwhelming intimacy that he's searched for his whole life, possibly, but never found, except in fragments and intervals and even then. Even then.
He breathes in hard, breathes out even harder. You always make me feel warmer, Jean Louis carries on and Elio almost wants to tell him to stop, he can't take any more, he can't bear so much emotion at once, but it's a lie, he wants nothing more than this. He always wanted everything, but he thought no one in the world would or could give him that. The moon, sure, power and gold, easy, but everything? And yet - something very peculiar. Jean Louis says.
Letting himself be released, clumsily reaching down to tuck himself away, back in his pants, cum-slick and quickly chilling, Elio watches the other man drying himself off in his shirt, the fabric going see-through and frail-looking from moisture. Then, he starts putting on his clothes, pants first. Elio zips up his own. Licks his lips. They taste like Jean Louis. The essence of him.
That's what Jean Louis is giving him. ]
I want to be so close to you that the skin separating our bodies is more strainer than barrier, Jean Louis. [ A pause. Elio hesitates, he knows he has to go on, but he also knows he's crossing that boundary now, between acceptable and unacceptable. Enough and too much. You have to keep doing it, he was told months ago, though. ] That way, if you're warm, I'll be warm. We'll warm each other, we'll share. Everything.
[ Not really feeling the cold anymore, Elio reaches up and out, letting his hand run up Jean Louis' still naked upper arm, to his bad shoulder, from there down his back, over ink lines he can't see and the marks they hide, an extra layer down. You have to feel for them, your eyes won't be enough.
This is the same thing. This is the same. Feel it. ]
[ He pulls on his trousers, stuffing his underwear away in a pocket - it's all either wet or it will be, there's no way around it, the shirt's absorbed all that it can before it even reaches his face. His limbs feel heavy from orgasm and combined with the lingering aftershocks of the cold water, his nervous system is basically on zero. It's good. It feels like a re-set, even if the foundation itself can't quite be helped.
Next to him, Elio takes a moment to process his words. When he speaks, his voice sounds hoarse, that tell-tale sign of an abused throat and it makes something hot stir in his belly again, the thought of having left himself behind like that, marking him from within. We'll warm each other, says Elio. We'll share everything and does he really want that? Does he? Does he?
Then, Elio reaches out and runs his hand up his upper arm, over his left shoulder and down, trailing over the tattoo lines, his cover-ups, because he prefers to control the narrative and in this case, people tend to tell themselves a better story, really, no matter what they see. When he'd come back from the hospital all those years ago, he'd looked like a gory accident or, alternatively, someone who'd been sick from a very bulbous sort of disease (cigarette burns in huge quantities do not become visually pleasing over time, as it turned out). No true stories, obviously, but not preferable either.
It has to be preferable.
Breathing slowly beneath Elio's hand, he finally turns towards him and catches his wrist between his fingers. He holds him still for a moment, two, before he simply pulls it closer to his face. As gently as he can manage (pretend to be, that's how it'll always feel), he kisses the skin right above the big, blue vein on the underside of his wrist. Then, he releases him, shifts sideways out of reach and puts on his shirt. ]
Thank you.
[ Meaningless words in this context, he's aware, but Elio will know. He'll understand. He finally picks out his phone from his pocket and calls up a number, getting Johan on the line who tells him that the car will be there in five. Been keeping watch, hasn't he? Bet he's been very pleased about the entertainment of the evening. ]
My men will pick us up. Get us back to the house in no time.
[ The thing about Jean Louis that Elio is learning, but has loved since the beginning, maybe from their very first night together, the other man pounding into him, a weight across his back, breath down his neck and willingness to listen to him whimper, is how beneath those still features of his face, there’s depth, there are lagoons and quicksand, natural phenomenons that can swallow you whole, if you don’t know how to work with them. Elio is many things but not stupid, he knows those kinds of forces are dangerous, but he also knows they make room, carve out the earth, creating pockets of space, just in order to exist. And the thing about Jean Louis is that he’s a willing container, he holds and he cares for and he carries. Elio. Elio’s feelings. Elio doesn’t think he’s ever been held like this before. That’s the thing.
Thank you, the other man replies and Elio knows that although the words themselves are brief, brief enough to leave space for all Elio’s excessiveness, they are floating on deep waters. Who does Jean Louis normally thank? Jean Louis expects and wants and demands, takes sometimes. Elio’s voice is bearing the brunt of it now, but who does he thank, if anyone?
Elio.
So Elio smiles when the other man catches his wrist and turns towards him, kissing it where the skin shows veins underneath. Vulnerability. Jean Louis is kissing his vulnerability, Elio was always good with symbolism and obviously, his Foreign Minister is, too. In turn, Elio bites his lip, everything tastes like him still, salt, water, cum, and allows himself to be let go of, it’s not forever, it’s for a while. They’re close enough, like this. It’s okay.
Looking up at the moon, clear and in perfect halves today, he licks his lips absentmindedly. ]
I guess we’ll see who’s faster. Your men or a common cold.
[ He crosses the distance between himself and his abandoned socks, shoes, readies himself to leave this pocket of theirs, enter a new one. ]
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solosection) wrote2021-12-31 09:25 am
no subject
When Jean Louis begins moving back towards the beach, his thighs rising out of the water, the rest of his legs, his crotch squarely in the middle, Elio just lets his eyes sweep down over his body, following the little droplet-sized rivers, start to finish. Greedily. Oh. He doesn’t try to hide it either and as the other man gets closer, he looks up to meet his eyes, the sweeping movement of one hand that is pushing his hair back, Elio’s pupils blown wide in response.
His voice sounds a little bit hoarse. It could be the cold. It could also not be the cold. ]
You’re outshining some very grudging deities.
[ Once Jean Louis is a couple of meters away, still to his ankles in water, Elio is done waiting. With a harsh exhalation, he kicks his shoes off, out to the side, toes out of his socks and uncaringly wades out into the water as well, only halfway realizing his trouser legs are going to get wet. But! Almost there, almost there, and he links both arms around Jean Louis’ neck, catching him front to front, getting even more wet. Oh. The strong, firm frame of him. Dripping. Moonlight. Beethoven wouldn’t know what to do with all this. Maybe it’s the cold... Fuck, it’s cold.
Still, Elio manages to add, playfully and only shivering a little bit: ]
Beware.
no subject
Before he can get around to drying off (using what, exactly??), Elio tells him he's outshining deities which is an impossible thing to say to someone like him, fuck, what is he doing - and then, he's kicking off his shoes and his socks and wading into the water, his trousers clinging to his ankles immediately as the water soaks through the fabric. Jean Louis reaches out to catch him almost by instinct - and when Elio throws his arms around his neck, plastering himself to his front, he can feel him shivering.
He's warm, too.
Beware he says and Jean Louis stares at him, blinking the sea water from his lashes before he runs both hands down his back, grabbing hold beneath his buttocks and hoisting him out of the water. He's not weightless, Elio, and his muscles are definitely working for it, particularly as he wades the last few meters ashore - he lets Elio cling as he sees fit, expecting him to hold on. ]
You're an idiot, Elio.
[ He says it without even the slightest trace of rancor in his voice, his chin resting on the other man's shoulder, their bodies pressed together as he steps onto the sand, feet sinking down, holding Elio tight.
In many ways, though, Elio is an idiot. Look at him, now, look at them both.
Foolish people, really, beneath the moonlight.
He adds, muttering against the shell of Elio's ear: ]
I can't keep you warm like this, you know.
no subject
Well, Jean Louis would probably say he has plenty of other choices, but none that would bring him closer and that's currently the important thing.
He's so close like this, he can feel the other man's muscles straining as he lifts him up onto the beach. The hard thud, thud, thud of his feet sinking into sand, possibly getting cut on rocks, it's a rocky patch of shore. Elio wants to rub them in balm when they get back, bathe his feet and use Mafalda's old witch brews on him. See what they turn him into. If he melts a little. Another thing Elio can feel is the water drying quickly between them, stiff from salt and freezing cold. He's actually trembling now. You're an idiot, Jean Louis tells him, saying his name like a caress and Elio moves his head in something that could be both a nod and a headshake.
Yes, it means, I know.
But you're also wrong, it means. I'm a professor's son, I know everything, haven't you realized?
And once they land on the beach, Elio releases his hold on the other man and lets himself glide softly into the cool sand with his feet, the beach pale white under the moon. Jean Louis' words are still echoing in his ear, his breath feeling like a ghost against the shell of it, like he's haunting him, even just lovingly, but unlike Elio's grandfather, Jean Louis is right here. It can't be ghosting, when the one doing it isn't gone, right?
Elio's fingers flex against his sides, his shoulders shaking from cold. Yet, when he looks at the other man, he's smiling widely and unrestrained. ]
There are other ways.
[ Truthfully, aside from dropping to his knees this very moment, taking his cock in his mouth, Elio doesn't know them, but he's willing to explore. With Jean Louis, he's willing. ]
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There are other ways says Elio and fuck, his circulation has definitely woken up. He raises one eyebrow and shifts in the sand, legs spread a little for better balance. Reaching out, he runs one, wet hand through Elio's hair, the strands stiffened here and there by salt. He palms the back of his head, fingers clenching very slightly in the other man's curls. He feels almost burning hot, Elio, though he's clearly too cold.
Contrasts.
When he speaks, there's a fondness to his voice that he doesn't quite recognise. ]
If you want something, you should always take it.
[ Even if you're frozen to the bone, even if it's late at night and you're on a public beach in the middle of winter. It's never a matter of circumstances, taking advantage of whatever's offered to you but sometimes, surely, it's a matter of life and death. Tonight, they'll both live - and the nights that follow, he'll make fucking sure - but there might still be chances worth grabbing or steps worth taking and if you don't, if they choose to be safer than that, the window will pass. It's how these things work. You wait and you lose.
He wants everything for them, he thinks. For Elio, too.
The thought makes him feel hollowed out, as if maybe there's room for something now - maybe, maybe, maybe. ]
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Elio closes his eyes for a brief moment to really feel the strength of Jean Louis' hand in his hair, cupping the back of his head, burying into his curls, stiff from salt in places, like the rest of him is stiff from cold, but not enough that he doesn't relatively seamlessly drop to his knees in front of the other man, moving on his knees up to his front, balancing himself with his hands on Jean Louis' thighs, one on each of them. He's icy cold, his skin almost glasslike to the touch because of it, veins looking blue and pounding underneath. Elio rubs his legs, then, once, twice. Stares directly into Jean Louis' crotch area like this, his cock flaccid still and vulnerable-looking like that. Cold, too.
Wetting his lips with his tongue, getting them good and moist and ready for the slide, he finally glances up at Jean Louis in the dark. Bordighera might be a ghost city currently, but even in ghost cities there are ghosts, right? They could get seen. What would his press attaché say about that? The Luxembourgian Foreign Minister getting sucked off in full public view after a night swim.
Elio would say, I was just preventing frostbites. ]
Even when it's you?
[ With that, he leans in, folding the fingers of his right hand around the base of Jean Louis cock and angling his whole length outward, opening his mouth wide at the same time, teeth tucked away safely, letting it slide whole and un-hard into his mouth. For warmth, yes? For warmth. Keeping it there, halfway inside, he uses his tongue to follow the fold of his foreskin, that small patch of anything that sets them apart, with his tongue, feeling the way it starts baring the head in stages as Jean Louis' body reacts to him.
It's incredibly arousing. ]
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He shudders visibly when Elio folds his fingers around his flaccid cock, lips slightly parted as he watches the other man open his mouth and taking him in. His mouth is shockingly hot, almost scorching and he groans, shifting a little in place, his hand tightening in Elio's hair. His body, the blood flow already explosive, reacts quickly - the combination of physical sensations mixed with the clear visual of Elio on his knees in the sand in front of him, his lips stretched around his shaft... ]
Mmm. Yes, especially then.
[ It's not that he doesn't want to be had, really. It's that being had comes with many variations. Sometimes, people want fifteen quick minutes and a brief high. Sometimes, they want power, money, trade. Sometimes, they want a pound of your flesh.
What Elio wants from him is new. He feels it with almost overwhelming clarity as Elio tongues his cock to hardness, gently, exploring the sensitive folds of foreskin with a care that you really wouldn't expect, not when time usually passes so quickly and all anyone wants is to move forward. The other man is freezing but he's not in any hurry and he doesn't know what to do with that, except take it and treasure it and keep it hidden within himself.
So, he runs his hand down the back of Elio's neck, between his shoulderblades, and spreads out his fingers, trying to give him back a fraction of warmth, if just by way of friction. His cock, meanwhile, hardens on the other man's tongue, heat spreading rapidly in his groin and abdomen. He watches Elio intently, eyes narrowed to slits. ]
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It feels a long time, but for another reason than with Antonio. It feels like a long time because there was no before worth of mention and he doesn't want there to be any after either.
Groaning around the now fully hard length of cock, Elio slides him all the way back into his mouth, until the head is pressing against the narrow entrance to his throat. He keeps it there, lets it weigh on him, lets his gag reflex have a bit of a struggle for a few seconds, while looking up at Jean Louis, his right hand slipping from the base of his cock to his balls, folding his palm around them. They're probably cold, too.
Though, honestly, they feel burning hot. Blood flow, evidently, and a lot of it. Elio draws back slowly, but not slowly enough to avoid a little retching, drowning the sound quickly in slurping noises as he licks all over the glans, tongue slipping into the slit, teasing out some precum. Now that he can taste him. Now that he can have him.
Jean Louis says so and since he's the king, so be it.
Eyes falling shut again, Elio angles his head better and swallows him down again, taking him as far as he can without actively deep-throating him. Begins a hard, fast rhythm of up and down, because Elio might love gently, but he also loves physically and the skin needs pressure to feel it right.
And the people over whom its stretched, the skin, need a certain pressure, too, or they'll forget or even worse, they'll remember, but never more than that. ]
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Around them, the beach remains quiet - deserted, like they're alone in the world and that's how they are together, it seems, it's something they've begun to cultivate and he... likes it. A lot. A part of him that he doesn't quite recognise anymore wants to belong there, even, to melt into that sense of two-ness and change, accordingly.
Elio sets a rhythm then, up and down, his cock sliding back and forth between his lips, into his mouth all the way to the back of his throat. The other man is slurping loudly, saliva running down his lips and chin and it's a pretty sight, the way he uses himself, the way he lets Jean Louis use him in turn. With a low moan, a rumble more than anything else, he slips his other hand beneath Elio's chin, folding his fingers beneath his delicate bone-structure and tips his face upwards slightly, enough to make eye-contact, enough to support him and keep him locked in that position, simultaneously. Manages, breathlessly: ]
You're beautiful.
[ Then, setting his feet firmly in the sand, he keeps Elio's head in place and takes over on the pace, sliding into his mouth and out. He doesn't override the rhythm Elio had established - he simply follows it, seamlessly, fucking his mouth hard and letting Elio do as he pleases with his tongue, with his hand around his balls. It's all fine.
Slowly, surely, it builds up. ]
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You're beautiful.
Elio blinks rapidly, staring back, loving the sight of him, loving this. How he's angling him for his own pleasure, the way he wants him the most, needs him and Elio can provide that for him, can be the warmth he sinks into, again and again while Jean Louis starts fucking his mouth, taking up space inside of him, filling him up. It's unbearably arousing, his jeans feel uncomfortably tight around his hard cock and Elio gives up on Jean Louis' balls reluctantly, only because he needs two hands to open up his fly. Well, efficiently, at least. Fumbling, desperately fast, he undoes the button, zips down, pushes his underwear out of the way.
He's so hard that the cool midnight air sends shock waves through his system, but beyond that it doesn't register, his body certainly doesn't care. Elio leans his head back a bit, tilting his throat into a more direct line with his mouth, thereby inviting Jean Louis to take them all the way, drive it home. With his left hand he reaches up and smears the spittle coating his chin all over his palm before reaching down between his thighs, beginning to stroke himself hard, fast, matching Jean Louis' rhythm. Focused. Always so focused. Precise with what he gives, says. He said: you're beautiful.
Elio groans, brushing his wet palm over his cock head, thighs trembling and ankles freezing and nothing matters but this. He wants to feel him come. He wants to feel Jean Louis spend himself inside him. With his other hand, he's all but clinging to Jean Louis' thigh for balance, seeing nothing but his broad, strong frame, he casts shadows over Elio's face, Elio can tell. ]
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Within long, the sound of the ocean disappears into the background, overridden by the wet slick of Elio's hand around himself and the sound of his mouth working tirelessly around Jean Louis' cock. He's perfect. How is he perfect? More to the point, how is he here, in front of Jean Louis on his fucking knees in the sand, clearly loving what they're doing, clearly loving...
How is he?
Breathing heavily, he finally angles himself a little differently, feeling the built-up like an overwhelming urge to go deeper, to go in, and he does, he sinks into Elio's throat all the way, feeling that pop as his cock pushes past the tight opening. He slips his hand further down, completely on impulse, and rests his fingers very gently against the slope of Elio's throat. He can feel himself in there, behind his skin, stretching him.
And that's how he comes, feeling utterly mindless, his cock pulsing deep inside Elio's throat as he spends himself in a handful of hot spurts. He pulls out immediately after, not fast but efficiently, the still-hard length of his cock slipping out from between Elio's lips wetly, strings of cum sticking to his tongue as it goes. Jean Louis' chest is heaving like he's run twenty fucking miles. The cold - he's completely forgotten about that. He moves his hand from between Elio's shoulderblades to the back of his head, running his fingers through his curls, trying to catch his breath and to catch himself.
Fuck. ]
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I will see you.
Then, the other man pulls out of his mouth, leaving his throat raw and burning, cum on his tongue, just strings and droplets, but enough to steal a taste and that's the final straw, for Elio, getting to taste him, the salty, stringy texture of what he's left him with. Himself. His essence.
And now, Elio does whimper, he whimpers loud and clear in the quiet of the night, coming all over his own hand, the sand, his cock pulsing harshly, it's a fast orgasm and the whole thing didn't really take long, but it's blissful. It's absolutely perfectly real. His voice sounds raw and used and Elio wants to sound that way always, wants to carry Jean Louis on his vocal chords everywhere, for everyone to hear. Oliver? Oliver, too. He doesn't care.
Once the first rush dampens, Elio falls very quiet and keeps staring at the expanses of skin in front of him, Jean Louis' abdomen and chest, then higher, his face, his eyes. He meets them hesitantly, for some complex psychological reason fearing a show of regret from the other man. We shouldn't have. Not here. Not like this. Why did you make me? Slowly, he releases his cock and dries his hand off in his shirt, rumbled, stiff from salt here and there. Now, cum.
Getting to his feet takes a long time, it feels like. He keeps looking at Jean Louis the whole way. ]
Are you feeling warmer?
[ Was it worth it, it means. Himself, Elio feels boneless and beautiful, but when was that ever enough? ]
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He thinks about Elio in the car a couple of days back, about how he'd been staring out onto the road, deflated in a way, as if expecting to be defeated. He thinks about Oliver, briefly, who seems to take quite a bit for granted in his life. Then, lips twitching with a sudden rush of anger, he steps forward and slips both hands around Elio's waist, pulling him up against his naked front. He's too cold, Elio. Are you feeling warmer, he said, frozen nearly through.
No, he can't give himself away like that, like none of the pieces matter.
He won't have it. ]
I feel...
[ Pause. His gaze glides sideways, then, and he blinks, trying to figure out how to phrase this. It has to do with emotions, with thoughts and ideas and notions that he rarely ever touches upon, except to push them aside. ]
Closer. To you. [ He wets his lips. Runs one hand through Elio's hair slowly, fingering the curls there, loving them. ] You always make me warmer. It's something very peculiar, actually - how you do that. I'm always worried you'll freeze in the process some day.
[ He steps back, releases Elio. Goes to pick up his shirt in the sand, drying off with harsh movements, his left shoulder rigid from the cold. Quite possibly, he's said too much - he feels as if he has. But on the other hand, he doesn't know how to tell him these things, these odd, fragile things, without baring aspects of himself that he can't stand the sight of anymore than others can; to show him that everything Elio gives him, he takes and he wants and he saves.
Like a magpie with a taste for gold. ]
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He breathes in hard, breathes out even harder. You always make me feel warmer, Jean Louis carries on and Elio almost wants to tell him to stop, he can't take any more, he can't bear so much emotion at once, but it's a lie, he wants nothing more than this. He always wanted everything, but he thought no one in the world would or could give him that. The moon, sure, power and gold, easy, but everything? And yet - something very peculiar. Jean Louis says.
Letting himself be released, clumsily reaching down to tuck himself away, back in his pants, cum-slick and quickly chilling, Elio watches the other man drying himself off in his shirt, the fabric going see-through and frail-looking from moisture. Then, he starts putting on his clothes, pants first. Elio zips up his own. Licks his lips. They taste like Jean Louis. The essence of him.
That's what Jean Louis is giving him. ]
I want to be so close to you that the skin separating our bodies is more strainer than barrier, Jean Louis. [ A pause. Elio hesitates, he knows he has to go on, but he also knows he's crossing that boundary now, between acceptable and unacceptable. Enough and too much. You have to keep doing it, he was told months ago, though. ] That way, if you're warm, I'll be warm. We'll warm each other, we'll share. Everything.
[ Not really feeling the cold anymore, Elio reaches up and out, letting his hand run up Jean Louis' still naked upper arm, to his bad shoulder, from there down his back, over ink lines he can't see and the marks they hide, an extra layer down. You have to feel for them, your eyes won't be enough.
This is the same thing. This is the same. Feel it. ]
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Next to him, Elio takes a moment to process his words. When he speaks, his voice sounds hoarse, that tell-tale sign of an abused throat and it makes something hot stir in his belly again, the thought of having left himself behind like that, marking him from within. We'll warm each other, says Elio. We'll share everything and does he really want that? Does he? Does he?
Then, Elio reaches out and runs his hand up his upper arm, over his left shoulder and down, trailing over the tattoo lines, his cover-ups, because he prefers to control the narrative and in this case, people tend to tell themselves a better story, really, no matter what they see. When he'd come back from the hospital all those years ago, he'd looked like a gory accident or, alternatively, someone who'd been sick from a very bulbous sort of disease (cigarette burns in huge quantities do not become visually pleasing over time, as it turned out). No true stories, obviously, but not preferable either.
It has to be preferable.
Breathing slowly beneath Elio's hand, he finally turns towards him and catches his wrist between his fingers. He holds him still for a moment, two, before he simply pulls it closer to his face. As gently as he can manage (pretend to be, that's how it'll always feel), he kisses the skin right above the big, blue vein on the underside of his wrist. Then, he releases him, shifts sideways out of reach and puts on his shirt. ]
Thank you.
[ Meaningless words in this context, he's aware, but Elio will know. He'll understand. He finally picks out his phone from his pocket and calls up a number, getting Johan on the line who tells him that the car will be there in five. Been keeping watch, hasn't he? Bet he's been very pleased about the entertainment of the evening. ]
My men will pick us up. Get us back to the house in no time.
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Thank you, the other man replies and Elio knows that although the words themselves are brief, brief enough to leave space for all Elio’s excessiveness, they are floating on deep waters. Who does Jean Louis normally thank? Jean Louis expects and wants and demands, takes sometimes. Elio’s voice is bearing the brunt of it now, but who does he thank, if anyone?
Elio.
So Elio smiles when the other man catches his wrist and turns towards him, kissing it where the skin shows veins underneath. Vulnerability. Jean Louis is kissing his vulnerability, Elio was always good with symbolism and obviously, his Foreign Minister is, too. In turn, Elio bites his lip, everything tastes like him still, salt, water, cum, and allows himself to be let go of, it’s not forever, it’s for a while. They’re close enough, like this. It’s okay.
Looking up at the moon, clear and in perfect halves today, he licks his lips absentmindedly. ]
I guess we’ll see who’s faster. Your men or a common cold.
[ He crosses the distance between himself and his abandoned socks, shoes, readies himself to leave this pocket of theirs, enter a new one. ]